I know that at this point, everyone ALWAYS says this, but I really do feel like this year only just started a little while ago. I’ve caught myself accidentally referring to February as a “few” weeks ago a number of times, as late as last week. I still remember the first day of the year so clearly (and the delicious Mexican restaurant around the corner that I still haven’t been back to since…so maybe that’s it!).
That being said, September did actually drag on a bit for me. I think I get really pumped up about it, what with the seasons changing and all of the back-to-school excitement, but then realize that none of that really affects me anymore and I get bummed out. I’ve been
forcefully removed from school for two years now, and yet I still let that autumn buzz hit me. Maybe because I didn’t actually get any closure? That for sure, but also because I think for a lot of people we still do just hold on to that fresh start. We love fresh starts! We’re only humans after all. Personally, I think that’s why New Years is a bit of a joke some times. Like, this “reset button” is essentially in the middle of nowhere. It’s not like you have a long break from work or that anything really changes. Arguably, the same goes for summer too, as an adult, but still people do tend to take advantage of the warmer months2 and take vacation. The logical part of that too being that most adults (at least that I work with) are parents and thus their kids are out and so their schedules adapt slightly.
The start of the month began with celebrations for two of my most favorite series. The night before the first of August, a new Harry Potter story was released in the form of a bound stageplay. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child left me with very mixed emotions, but in general it was nice to go back to that world that ached so heavily in my young heart. Secondly, the first of the month is known as Odaiba Memorial Day for those who are fans of an anime called Digimon. It’s always a day I lowkey celebrate, usually by just watching some episodes or movies. It’s exciting that for the series’ 15th anniversary, they have been releasing new films that follow the original kids from the show as older kids. Though I’ve already seen the films in Japanese (3 of the planned 4 films are out) I get to see the first film with the new English dub in theaters in September.
Could that title get any longer? Jeez. But that adorable, click-baity title is the most direct way for me to passively state that, hey, I finally created a YouTube video! You’re welcome, Past Jen!
Jokes aside, this really has been a long time coming. I first created my channel back in 2012, and never felt like I could be one of “those” people who made videos. What does that even mean, Past Jen? I tend to do that a lot. Just assume that I wouldn’t be able to do something without any actual proof that I couldn’t. Sure, you’re bad at something when you first do it, but does that mean that I just block myself from even trying? Probably.
Here’s the thing about YouTube, and other aspects of life. People always just spew out the same “Just do it” or “Just get out there…make it happen…get your hands dirty” or any other thing Shia LaBeouf might say. I have been a creative coward for the entirety of the adult life. My childhood, not so much
but that’s a therapy session for another day. My point is, you will constantly be given this advice, solicited or not, from any and every type of person in every profession/field/industry.
This advice sucks. For me at least. It was never effective. That being said, I’m going to say some things that might have actually been good advice for Past Jen to have gotten. I’ve put the video at the bottom of this post. You can decide if you’d like to watch it before or after reading this post
or at all.
July has flown by, as has this entire freaking year. It’s a little terrifying that we are more than half way done with this year. I think that’s a good thing, too. With shootings and the state of politics…this year is not one that history will likely remember too kindly. We are seeing the first woman nominated for president by a major political party, so there’s that glass ceiling theoretically shattered.
I think part of the reason July went by so quickly for me was because work did. It was absolute chaos and more often then not, the week would start, and then I would blink and it was already Thursday, and then Friday. With the 4th of July and our latest film release, we even had some shorter weeks in there, which was awesome of BSS.
Earlier this month, I was planning to move house for the third time in two years. It would have been a good move too–shorter commute, less driving in general, closer to downtown, living with friends, spacious apartment. I was dreading it, of course, as does anyone who owns stuff. I’m very wary of even thinking about moving, but I was actually starting to embrace this one. Until shit hit the fan and we lost the place.
In those couple of days that we thought we had the place, the gears had already begun to turn. I was already making lists of things I could stash at work VS things I wanted to bring VS things I could send back to my parent’s house. I started making lists, piling up things to bring to Good Will, and I even packed two small boxes of smaller items. Now I’ve got to unpack that stuff. When I thought I was moving, my way of thinking about my belongings changed, and changed once again when I knew I wasn’t moving.